diyin

New Journal...

2007-03-11T02:25:16Z

missellipsis

If you care to follow, do. If not, no hard feelings.

I think I'm nuts

2007-03-10T22:13:41Z

But I want to tattoo '...' (minus the '-s) on my back. I like the idea of it, of thoughs, experiances, momemnts, just trailing off, not ending.

But it'll just look like three freckles!

*taps mic* Buler? Buler? Anyone there?

diyin @ 2007-03-05T20:46:00

2007-03-06T01:47:57Z

•pouts•

I WANT THIS! NOW!

In other words. Work SUCKED. I almost got shit canned, for yelling back at someone. I never do it. It 'went in my file'

I almost cried all day.

Short Story

2007-03-04T02:28:28Z

I found this on my hard drive. It was going to be a longer story, but I think it makes an all right short story as well. Maybe. Heh. Thoughts?

They drove for six hours before pulling over. Simon looked out the window, saw they were in a gas station. He looked towards his mother, trying to see past the forming bruise on her cheek. She forced a smile -the same smile she forced out for a hundred and fifty miles. It was like if she stopped smiling, she'd start crying.

"We're out of gas, kiddo." She said, unbuckling her seat belt. "And, I don't know where we're going…"

Simon wanted to ask that the second they got in the car, but his heart was pounding so fast, his mother looked so afraid, he didn't want to add one more problem. It was almost comforting to know she didn't know either. They were both lost, so confused.

She looked him over, frowning at his appearance. Boxer shorts and a tank top, white where it wasn't stained with blood. He didn’t have time to stop for pants, let alone shoes. "Stay in the car." She said, glancing at him, worried frown creasing her face before she got out of the car, belly first, like all pregnant women seem to do.

Simon watched her run-walk into the gas station. It was raining; he saw it as very fitting. Alone, he shivered, looking at himself in the review mirror. His face looked bad, but not as bad as he thought it would. The cut above his left eye had mostly stopped bleeding; his lip was cut and puffy, but that was it. It didn't hurt, though it looked like it should.

A knock on the window made him jump. He looked up to see his mother looking down at him, still wearing that worried-but-it-will-all-work-out smile. He rolled down the window, looked up at her.

"Here, kiddo." She said, holding out a package of Twinkies. Any other day, she would be yelling at him for his junk food addiction. This day, she was feeding it, like she didn't know what else to do.

Simon raised his hand up to take the cakes, confused when the smile disappeared from his mother's face. She took his wrist in her hand, automatically, he tried to pull it back, but she held fast, peeled open his bloody fist, frowning at the two guitar strings in his torn palm.

Simon looked up at her, just as surprised as she was. He remembered the thud of the guitar against Lew's head, remembered the feel of the neck breaking under his hands as he swung again, and then a third time before his mother's arms wrapped around him, pregnant belly pressed against his back as she yanked him backwards.

Simon closed his eyes and shivered, pulling his hand back, surprised when she let him. He didn't even wince as he pulled the strings out of his skin, frowning at the blood that leaked slowly out. She put the Twinkies on his lap, then said something about using the phone, voice shaking slightly. Simon stared down at the string in his hand, then awkwardly managed to tie it around his right wrist. He looked up, looking like a child that had been caught playing with matches, when the door opened and she wedged herself back in the car.

She put her hand on the back of his head, which made him shudder, and pulled him over for a kiss to the temple. He let her, knew somewhere in his mind that she needed to do it, needed to feel like she was comforting her child.

"We're going to New York. I just spoke with Carrie –my roommate from college—she said she can put us up until we get settled." There was a change in her, like once she knew where their destination was, things would be better. Simon wasn't sure if he agreed. He just nodded and went back to looking out the window as she pulled away from the pump.

"We need to get you clothes..." She said, sounding more like she was talking to herself than him. "The man inside said there is a Walmart down this road."

Simon just nodded again, closing his eyes and resting his head against the window.

This, he thought distantly, must be what it's like to be in shock. Then he fell into an exhausted sleep.

Simon woke up alone in the car, terrified, sweating from a half nightmare-half memory that left his stomach aching and his heart pounding. He looked around, breathing heavy, and realized that he was in a parking lot. He opened the door and dry heaved onto the pavement, embarrassed. Slamming the door harder than necessary almost made him feel better. There was a warm can of coke sitting in the cup holder, he took a few swallows to wash the taste out of his mouth. It didn't help.

He rummaged through the glove compartment, found a half melted mint. It was better than the slick taste of bile in his mouth, so he popped it in and waited. Looked at the map, the red line his mother had drawn through it, right to up state New York, thought about the states they were going to go through. Tried to remember the capitols of them all, found out US geography isn't his strong suit when he's half in shock. Then he waited some more.

He was down to trying to remember any city in the states he was going through when his mother got back. He looked up as she handed him a heavy bag. She got into the drivers seat, but didn't start the car.

"I didn't want to wake you." She said, opening the bag and taking out a package of black t-shirts, and placed them on the dashboard. A pair of jeans, that looked too long followed. Finally, she seemed to find what she wanted, and came out with a tiny first aid kit.

"We should clean up your hand." She explained. Simon didn't even flinch as she started to clean out the cut with a tiny bottle of rubbing alcohol. She did all the wincing for him. There were a few gauze pads and a roll of it, so she placed them over the cut and wrapped it up. Simon was still surprised that it didn't hurt. It looked deep enough that he might need stitches.

"There," She said softly, and kissed the bandage. He couldn't remember the last time his mom kissed his boo-boo better. It made him smile. She smiled back, the first non-forced one in six hours, maybe the first since Lew moved in. "Get dressed. There's some tennis shoes in the bag too."

Simon wanted privacy. He didn't want to take off his shirt in front of her, he knew the bruises there, the round unmistakable hickeys, but there really wasn't any choice. He did it as fast as possible, like when he changed for gym. If she noticed anything, she didn't say a word. The jeans were pulled on next, like he thought, they were a little too long, the shoes a bit too tight. Still, it was nice not to sit in his boxers anymore.

She dug through the bag again, Simon wondered just how much she spent on him. She came out with a bottle of water and a box of medicine. "Take it," She said, popping one pill out from its plastic bubble.

Simon took the pill, and washed it back with some water. He looked at her, biting his swollen lip. That didn't hurt either.

"Nyquil. It'll make things a little easier. We still have a bit of a drive ahead."

Simon wanted to ask what about her, the baby, if it was safe to put the unborn child through this much stress, but he couldn't get himself to open his mouth. If he opened it, he was afraid he'd start screaming. He just nodded, biting his lip harder when she gave him a worried look. He tasted copper, realized his lip was bleeding again, found it hard to care.

"I got some protein bars, want one? Or we could try to find a fast food place..." She sounded a second away from unraveling. "Say something, baby." She whispered, voice trembling. "Tell me how to help."

Why did you move in with him, he thought bitterly, but knew better than to say that. He knew he'd die without ever knowing what she saw in Lew. How'd you let yourself get pregnant, was question number two, but again, he knew better. Instead he forced a smile and picked out one of the protein bars. He doubted he could stomach fast food burgers right then.

"This is fine." He said, voice hoarse, from emotion, screaming, or disuse, he wasn't sure. It didn't really matter. Those three words put a smile on her face. She pulled one out for herself, then tossed the bag in the backseat.

She ate hers in silence, looking over the map. Simon managed a few bites before it started to turn his stomach. He forced himself to finish it, he didn't want his mother to worry anymore than she already was.

"Doesn't look that far." She said, running her finger across from Indiana to New York.

Simon looked at the map and nodded. He wondered if it was far enough, but didn't say that either.

F-Locked Baby!Erin pics to follow. She's home and sooo cuuute.

Perfectly healthy now.

diyin @ 2007-02-25T22:30:00

2007-02-26T03:31:12Z

Fandom: 28 Days Later
For: 15minuteficlets
Prompt: Moon.

Jim never really looked at the moon. It was something that was just there. Like the Thames. Or heating. Or running water. Electricity...

After the cure, that wasn't a cure but proof that the human race should die out, in the little cottage, Jim learned he really liked looking at the moon.

After nearly dying. After the unspeakable almost happened. After he killed and was responsible for the deaths of several men (or monsters, it depended upon one's point of view). After all that, there was just him, Hanna, Selena, and the moon at nights.

At nights, once the bullet wound healed and he could sit up without pain, though Selena advised him it was unwise, Jim would sit out and watch the moon. He liked the moon more than the sun. It seemed more honest.

The sun pretended the brighten everything up, make the world a better place. The moon? The moon just sat up there and tried to shed a little light. On most nights, she couldn't even do that.

Jim liked those nights the best.

damn.

2007-02-22T04:33:55Z

I have not written a fic since 03/17/06

Sometimes I suck.

But the icon is funny...to me...

Mixed Blessings...

2007-02-22T03:51:28Z

So. My sister had her baby on Wednesday (02/20). Erin Mary •••••. This should be a very happy post, but as of right now the baby is still in the N.I.C.U. AKA the place you don't want your baby to be in.

The little girl is going to be all right, hopefully. Right now, she had fluid in her lungs because my sister didn't push enough times -- apparently as you push, you squeeze the mucus out of the baby's lungs...

Yeah, so she's on like, a sleep apnea machine (or that's how it's been explained to me), that helps make sure she's breathing. I can't go in the N.I.C.U. so when I went up to see my sis, after work, everyone was so happy saying little Erin looks 100% better, her eyes were open and she was alert and trying to get everything off of her -- she wasn't just laying there anymore. He color is getting less red they say.

More news as it develops...My sister stayed tonight at the hospital, but doesn't think she'll trick them into a 3rd night (her dr told her she would have a fever tonight -- I like her dr :wink: ) The sad part is, she'll probably leave tomorrow without her baby. I can't think of anything worse than leaving the hospital without your baby, and I don't even want babies! ~~(Yet. All this both has my ovaries tying themselves in knots and poking me saying I want one at the same time.)~~

Anyway, I'm heading to bed. Stressful times + period + loud ass mother= BIG ASS HEADACHE. I can't even hold my head up.

Hopefully I'll have good news at the next up date. I'm sure she'll be okay. It's just a matter of when...

At least, that's what i keep telling myself. Really, I'm just as terrified as everyone else in my family.

worst two words ever.

2007-02-15T04:22:55Z

Me: bad weather + stabbing face pains=no good drivey
Them: I just got this image of a face stabbing you.
Them: like the knife is attached to the cheek or something
Me: that's actually a pretty accurate description of the pain
Them: neato. fucking terrifying, but neat!

Dude. I had my wisdom teeth out Friday. Now, I'm pretty sure I have dry socket. I have to go in tomorrow to see what's going on. I've had three vicodens since 4pm. I'm still in pain.

In other news, the weather is beyond frightful. I skated to work, on GIR, my car. It wasn't so bad in the snow.

I started a new, new domain. 'Cause? I couldn't afford the quarterly bills at the other place, and I didn't like the name anymore. I do that.

Avenue313.ORG

I'm going to bed now that I can almost breathe around the pain in my face.

Big Plans

2007-01-27T06:47:23Z

Life? It's not working. I feel like it's on hold while I finish school. It's taking forever though...

I've made a decision. A SCARY decision.

I'm moving out. I'm moving up to Albany, where I can be close enough to my family that I can come home for a weekend, but not so close that anyone will be coming by without warning.

SUNY Albany does a library program there, that's actually cheaper than the one I'm going to. I already spoke with the dean and she said they can take 12 credits, which is what I had at the end of last semester.

I'm taking the semester off, which is no big deal since I only took classes to get DONE not classes I wanted. I couldn't afford it anyway.

I've started to apply for jobs. I want to move to the Latham/Clifton Park area. I've been to Clifton Park and loved it, but Latham is just as nice and a little cheaper.

600 for a 1 bed room is damn cheep compaired to the average here: 900 for a crapy basement apartment...

I figure a 30k job and I'm golden but I can make do w/ 26-28k.

I'm excited and terrified. I even made a target wish list of everything i could want/need HERE. I know a kitchen table would be good, but I think I could find a cheaper one at a thrift store --same goes for the dresser...

I'M BACK•

2007-01-20T02:58:35Z

So. I'm trying to be back. Call it a late new years resolution.

What has been going on in the life of Diyin? •deep breath•

Well on the job front: I was hired at B&B. I sucked, they put me into reception instead. About a month ago, I did the big girl thing and asked for a promotion back up and got it. Now I'm doing what I was supposed to do –assisting first time callers. It's depressing as shit. Today I talked to a 23 year old guy who was trying for 2 years to have a baby on the day he found out his fiancé was preggers, he got told he has cancer. It's a trill a minute.

Personal: I had a boyfriend for a bit. From about Halloween until right before Christmas, but it didn't work. HE was up my ass all the time and I just wasn't into him…

Car: So, after the accident, my car was totaled. I got a new car. A Scion Xb

Family: My sister is preggers, with her fourth child. They say it's a girl, but…with her, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a boy. She's been having some trouble with early contractions, so she's on full bed rest.

Other than that, nothing much is going on.

get out of jail free

2007-01-20T01:14:10Z

Well. I'm back. More on that in a bit. First, your get out of jail free card:
If you don't want to be my friend anymore, now is the time to say so.
Thanks

to make it worse, it was my mom's birthday

2006-09-10T16:56:53Z

So, yesterday, I was heading to work late, at 550 in te morning or so. This car comes out of the middle lane, into mine, and hits the front end of my car. All of a sudden I was spinning, and wound up on the embankment on the side of the highway. Thankfully it was the grass not a guard rail or a concrete wall. Of the places to have an accident and wind up, this was a good one.

Right, so the car stopped, and I had a moment of 'that's it?' like, I was all right, I'm okay. This wasn't so bad.

As I'm getting out and trying to get a hold of my mom or dad, the car that hit mine was hit again…I thought the guy was dead. When I finally got over there…What a mess.

I started getting pain in my side, so they tied me up and but a neck brace on…Long story. Anyway, everyone was really nice, I spent from about 7 till 1 in the hospital, drinking the horrible catscan shit…To be told I'm fine…

Anyway, I just slept all day yesterday. Thanks to the muscle relaxers and pills…

I'm all right today. I pulled my stomach muscles…not my neck. Figure that out. Get to talk to the insurance people tomorrow, figure out what the fuck is going on with my car, what the next step is, etc. I filed the claim, but now I have to wait to talk to an adjuster.

Hopefully it will be easy, for once in my life.

The only good thing is that I only paid 250 for that car…

fuck starfucks.

2006-08-24T03:42:56Z

Life is turning around.

I got a new job. At binder and binder, answering incoming calls. 26k a year, which, while living at home, will allow me to pay for school AND straighten out my credit. They're even going around my school scheduale as much as possible!

It's right where my mom works too, so we can carpool. Which means I don't have to deal with traffic getting there. I 20 minute ride (at most) takes her a full hour in rush hour.

I get to give my two weeks tomorow. *bounce*

diyin @ 2006-07-31T19:51:00

2006-08-01T00:03:19Z

I think I really am asexual.

I read about it here at wikipedia and I do thin I fall into the categorey of those that may have a sex drive and attraction, but when it comes down to it, they don't WANT to have sex.

I've been thinking back. Maybe this is just a side affect of the prozac, but then I realized that even in highschool, sex was always boring. My mind would wander. I have never enjoyed making out with someone.

I want to get off as much as the next girl, but...it's boring.

Either I'm meeting the wrong people, the wrong gender, or I really am Asexual.

I crave companionship. Not sex.

I'm too old for this kind of confusion.

diyin @ 2006-07-30T16:43:00

2006-07-30T20:45:48Z

Last night, I offically became a Long Islander.

I went in Jones Beach, wearing just underwear.

Sober.

Is it bad that I'm proud of myself?

On a sadly related not, I'm starting to think I'm Asexual. I made out with a boy (refused to do anything else for various reasons #1 being no condom #2 being the wrong time of the month), but I was so god damned bored.

Sex just doesn't do it for me. i'm hoping that one day I'll meet that one person that does, but I'm not holding my breath.

varietypack100

2006-06-19T20:01:32Z

Since I suck at doing 100 or 50 of anything, i joined varietypack100

varietypack100
001.	Beginnings.	002.	Middles.	003.	Ends.	004.	Insides.	005.	Outsides.
006.	Hours.	007.	Days.	008.	Weeks.	009.	Months.	010.	Years.
011.	Red.	012.	Orange.	013.	Yellow.	014.	Green.	015.	Blue.
016.	Purple.	017.	Brown.	018.	Black.	019.	White.	020.	Colourless.
021.	Friends.	022.	Enemies.	023.	Lovers.	024.	Family.	025.	Strangers.
026.	Teammates.	027.	Parents.	028.	Children.	029.	Birth.	030.	Death.
031.	Sunrise.	032.	Sunset.	033.	Too Much.	034.	Not Enough.	035.	Sixth Sense.
036.	Smell.	037.	Sound.	038.	Touch.	039.	Taste.	040.	Sight.
041.	Shapes.	042.	Triangle.	043.	Square.	044.	Circle.	045.	Moon.
046.	Star.	047.	Heart.	048.	Diamond.	049.	Club.	050.	Spade.
051.	Water.	052.	Fire.	053.	Earth.	054.	Air.	055.	Spirit.
056.	Breakfast.	057.	Lunch.	058.	Dinner.	059.	Food.	060.	Drink.
061.	Winter.	062.	Spring.	063.	Summer.	064.	Fall.	065.	Passing.
066.	Rain.	067.	Snow.	068.	Lightening.	069.	Thunder.	070.	Storm.
071.	Broken.	072.	Fixed.	073.	Light.	074.	Dark.	075.	Shade.
076.	Who?	077.	What?	078.	Where?	079.	When?	080.	Why?
081.	How?	082.	If.	083.	And.	084.	He.	085.	She.
086.	Choices.	087.	Life.	088.	School.	089.	Work.	090.	Home.
091.	Birthday.	092.	Christmas.	093.	Thanksgiving.	094.	Independence.	095.	New Year.
096.	Writer's Choice.	097.	Writer's Choice.	098.	Writer's Choice.	099.	Writer's Choice.	100.	Writer's Choice.

diyin @ 2006-06-05T09:33:00

2006-06-05T13:34:53Z

So. Starfucks, not cutting it.

I just signed up for a bartending class. I'm getting mixed reviews on should I or shouldn't I, from people that have bartended. More yay's than neighs and the neighs pisssed me off, so now I'm gonna do it for sure.

I'm broke, school payments are not going to come easy. So i'm doing it. wtf, live once, right?

...

at least i'll be doing something productive with my saturday nights, right?

diyin @ 2006-05-28T10:55:00

2006-05-28T14:57:59Z

Yo. I live. Sorta.

I finsihed my first semester of grad school. Waiting on the grades to be mailed since I can't fucking login and it makes me wanna cry. Oh well I know I did well. Just wanna find out how well, ya know?

Also, still at starfucks. Still flat broke.

I'm thinking of starting a mini design company (since I know I wouldn't get much business I call it mini) but it could be fun.

That's all, really. I live. I work, I sleep, I eat.

I want a summer romance. Doubt I'll get it, but I want it...

The best news so far, though? Boondock Saints Unrated DVD. So buying it...one day...soon...

First Times»28 Days Later»Jim/West»R»au100

2006-03-17T06:22:43Z

Title: First Times
Fandom: 28 Days Later
Characters: Jim and West
Prompt: .004 First
Word Count: 356
Rating: R, for implied only semi-consensual sex.
Summary: First times are never mind blowing, Jim.
Author's Notes: The plot is the same from the movie, up until when Jim and Farrell are placed in the room together. From there, it's totally AU. I plan on making all 100 of these 100 parts of one series. This is part II.

My table can be found here.
Previous parts: I.

"First times are never mind blowing, Jim." West says, petting Jim's sweaty back. The muscles twitch under West's hand.

Jim doesn't answer. Just gags, throws up on the floor. He slides himself a little over to the side, not bothering to hide the wince that crosses his face as he moves. Hands tied behind him, moving is difficult. West had to put the gun down to fuck him.

Jim rests his cheek against the cement floor, closing his eyes. He hears West moving around. Jim hears a zipper, realizes West is getting dressed. Then the other man's hands are on him again, touching his arms. Jim flinches away. West sighs, places his hand flat against Jim's back.

"Stay still." He warns a moment before West uses his knife to cut the ropes around Jim's wrists. Jim's arms flop down to the side, dead from lack of circulation.

"Up." West commands, pulling Jim to his feet. His pants are shoved into his hands.

Jim nearly falls over, stepping into his pants. West steadies him. It takes him a few moments to button his pants, with the way his hands are trembling. The trembling gets worse as West trances a bruise along Jim's ribs.

"None of them will touch you again." West promises, and Jim pretends there's not a possessive note to the Major's voice.

West regards him for a long moment, making Jim's skin crawl from the intensity of the look. West nods as if in answer to some unasked question.

"Come. I have a room for you upstairs." West tells him, looking around the room. "One with a bed."

And no blood on the floor, Jim thinks, noticing the way West doesn't look at the blood stain left from Farrell. Instead of saying that, he just nods.

West smiles at him. The smile of a man that's just fucked someone. The smile of a man that knows he'll continue to get his way.

"You did good. You made the right choice, Jim." West says, as he takes Jim by the arm, leading him out of the room.

Jim, walking stiffly beside West, wonders if he has.

diyin @ 2006-03-08T20:22:00

2006-03-09T01:25:56Z

I'm turning into my mother. I realized it today. In the dentist office (more on that mess when I can think about it without crying).

This teenager had a razor phone. And all I could think was 'i bet daddy bought that, bitch.'

I hate people that have more than me. Which is just about everyone. I don't want to hate. It's such a wasted emotion. But all I do, lately, is hate people. I even hate my brother for what he has, and it's no more than I have, just he has friends and a girlfriend to make it better.

This is not what I imagined my life to be. It's not a surprise though, that i'm 23, alone, broke, and miserable.

ded

2006-03-06T18:17:41Z

The bunnies do BrokeBack -spoilers

life assessment

2006-03-06T06:07:42Z

Job: Shitty job at starbucks.
Friends: None
Romantic Interests: None
Money in bank: 200
Money owed: 5,000+
Chance of having a life worth living: None.

diyin @ 2006-02-22T23:11:00

2006-02-23T04:12:57Z

It needs to be April 18th.

If I order it from amazon ahead, does it arive on 4/18 or a few days after?

diyin @ 2006-02-20T18:26:00

2006-02-20T23:27:10Z

Fill that out for me?

I'm bored and curious...and trying to avoid the psycho path that is my mother.

diyin @ 2006-02-18T21:48:00

2006-02-19T02:49:49Z

I'm alive. Been posting at Oh-Serious but not here for some reason.

Anyway, mostly just stoppingin to say: